Interview with Ms. Florence Howayeck
On behalf of Volunteering for Seniors (VFS) Easton, Massachusetts, I (Neil Dutta) got the opportunity to interview Mrs. Florence Howayeck on May 18th, 2024.
Ms. Howayeck lives Fall River, Massachusetts all by herself. Even though she is 97 years old. However, she is very independent and lives in a house which she had designed herself and built almost fifty years back with her husband. Two of her sons’ live as her neighbors. Her parents were from Lebanon. Her father was an entrepreneur, and her mom was a homemaker. She had three brothers and one sister and is now the last surviving sibling. She was married to the late George Howayeck (who passed away in 2021) for about 68 yrs. During the interview, she shared with us how she met her husband, their romantic dates and how they eventually got married. She was a stay-at-home mom.
They have four children (named Gail, George, Lois, and Gary), 10 grandchildren, 4 great grandchildren and another one on the way. She is a proud mother and grandmother (Sithoo in Arabic) of everyone’s accomplishments. She also has several nieces and nephews in the area. She has been a member of St Anthony of the Desert Maronite Church in Fall River her whole life. There is a big Lebanese community in Fall River where she still has lots of friends. She used to sew a lot and would continue now if she could thread a needle! She sewed drapes for her house and bedspreads etc. She still cooks (a lot of Arabic food) and her whole life she found joy in gathering and feeding her family. She always entertained big groups and hosted a Christmas eve party of minimum 50 family and friends until she was 96-year-old. She feels very blessed for her life. I found her very energetic and as a very loving grandmother. As her daughter Lois (Ms. Hagopian) told us that “Most importantly she has always and still does have the BEST most POSITIVE attitude. Nothing is ever a big deal. She laughs a lot and enjoys life. She is a very generous person and always wants to help. She sees only positive things in life and for her glass is always half-filled (not empty)”.
She is very good at giving useful advice especially to her grandkids who are adults. She in fact provided me and children of our generation a very valuable life lesson (as mentioned in the interview below and video). Most interestingly, I am very surprised and happy to learn that she is pretty tech savvy for her age as she texts all her kids every day and looks up information on her iPad.
When I arrived at Ms. Howayeck’s house, she & her daughter Ms. Lois and her son Mr. Gary welcomed me and offered us drink and food. Her living room and dining space was meticulously kept. After five to ten minutes of informal conversation and introduction. We all sat down at the dining table for the formal interview, and she was very lively, occasionally sharing light moments with me and remained engaged throughout the interview.
I started with the first question “where were you born?”
Ms. Florence Howayeck replied “I have to tell you, I was born here in Saint Ann in a hospital, which was unusual in those day and 97 years ago” (Ms. Howayeck was born in 1927.
Could you provide more insight about your childhood and where you grew up?
Ms. Florence Howayeck: “My childhood was okay, I did not know the difference if we were rich or poor”, “my mom never made no an issue out of it, she always make the best that she could whenever she cooked and did anything and even traveling, we did very little traveling unless we took the family with us & that’s the way we lived (my mother and my father) and that’s about the way it is”. She mentioned that she was laid back, listened to her mother’s teaching and tried not to get in trouble, and she was a good girl. She further specified that she grew up among the Lebanese community, her parents migrated from Lebanon and raised their family in a Lebanese neighborhood. They have their own church and club and the whole community lived as a family and helped each other.
When I asked her about special memory from her childhood, she shared with me one incidence about her mother and one of her brothers “my mother was very upset with me, she made me kneeled down near the bed and my brother walked in when she (Ms. Howayeck’s mother) was in church and he said, what are you doing there” and she replied to her brother that she was given punishment by her mother to kneel down and not move until she gets back home. Then her brother said to her that since their mother is not at home, and she can get up. However, Ms. Howayeck didn’t listen to her brother and remained obedient to her mother, in a reaction her brother laughed at her. Then she said “he was the naughty one, not me”.
You grew up during the depression era around the 1920s. What challenges did you and your family face during those days specially growing up as a first-generation immigrant?
Ms. Florence Howayeck: “I was born in 1927, I don’t remember the depression that much, I was too young to care”. Then she mentioned that her family move to Detroit, Michigan and probably her father was looking for the job. She continued that her father invented something for cars and however, he never got the deal out of it. His company instead of allowing him to file patent, gave him the raise and offered him good position within the company and made him sign the paperwork, which he did not know what it was. She told me that “those are the things you should be careful of”. She mentioned that depression era did not affect her life other than education. She said “education then was unheard of for everybody, especially a college education and many people at age sixteen, would have to go and get a job”.
Next, I asked her “Did you have any jobs”?
Ms. Florence Howayeck replied, “I ended up in a sowing factory, I did some sowing and I enjoyed it so much that when I built this house I sowed (curtains) for every window, I did lot of work to make this house the way I wanted it and I have been here now for fifty years”.
You have such a wonderful family. You have raised four children. Can you tell more about your family specially how did you meet your husband Mr. George Howayeck and your 68 year marriage?
Ms. Florence Howayeck: “I was never interested in getting married, my mother worried. But anyways, I met my husband through the family. They (family) liked him and they liked me. They thought we can make a good couple”. She mentioned that her husband was easy going. She continued “I told him before we got married that I have to have my way and he was very patient”. She mentioned that her husband did not like his initial job as an engineer and decided to get his teaching certification and became a teacher. Then she shared a special moment of her husband George, he got back home one day at 3 PM asked her whether he can go golfing and that’s when she figured that teaching would be ideal for him.
After that she answered my initial question and shared how she met her husband and how he proposed her in the ball room, during the dance he asked her out to go out to a Red Sox game, which she had no clue. She liked him but she was not certain what to convey him. She had a feeling that if she said no he may not ask her again. She mentioned that her husband George was easy going guy and with whom she could be happy with. Then she shared another story when she was dating her late husband. They went to a restaurant, and she ordered fried clams (as she wanted to be reasonable in her food order after listening to her sister’s advice not to order anything too expensive and clam was only three dollars during those days) instead of lobster and Mr. George ordered lobster. She also went with him dancing and one night she was late and thought her mother might be upset. Instead, she found out that her mother liked her late husband and considered him “nice boy”. During those days, they dated once a week for a year. She mentioned “Every Saturday, George would pick me up, he takes his dad’s car. One day he was stuck, and he did not have a car” and he asked her “do you mind taking a bus”. However, Ms. Howayeck did not want to go by bus, but she went. Further Ms. Howayeck shared that when Mr. Howayeck was in college for three years, he was drafted for the Korean war as he was not married. During that time, he tried to convince her “if we get married, I don’t have to go”. However, she was not certain, and she told him “I am not ready”. Then he asked “do you want to get engaged” and she replied “okay” and she liked the engagement ring. When Mr. George Howayeck was in the service, they did not see each other for a couple of years. It was tough for him, he survived in the army because of his prior Boy’s Scout training. When he was in the Korean, he got hurt and discharged from the army and he did not notify Ms. Howayeck and when back in the USA, he hitch hiked home (as he did not have any money). It was a hot August morning, Mr. George Howayeck came directly to her house in a uniform, went to her room, sat at the bed, woke her up and proposed to her again “we have to get married on Thanksgiving” and she replied “I am thinking of Valentine”. However, he insisted on getting married on Thanksgiving Day. They had a beautiful wedding on a Thanksgiving Day. She then continued “I had two girls and two boys, and I can say today they are the best kids that God could have done for anybody”. She mentioned that both she and her husband had respected and supported each other and never expressed disagreement in front of their children. She mentioned that her family was very close, and did everything together including travel and picnics. She sacrificed her solo travel with her husband as she always wanted to take her children with them and she enjoyed their company. She said “they were all fun, I was happy, I wanted happiness for everybody and we got it”. This is how she and her children had beautiful and cherished memories.
I asked her, could you share a specific or favorite memory you had with your children and family?
Ms. Florence Howayeck responded, “I have lot of favorite memories, all my kid graduated from college and high school. I have a sense of pride that they all are successful. One of my son’s is a lawyer and the other an optometrist. They are all family oriented. When they were younger we all went to Disney several times. We were always having picnics and beach days. We had family parties and lots of celebrations. Overall, she is very proud of her children and grandchildren achievements
What your favorite dishes (Lebanese food), you make?
Ms. Florence Howayeck: “Well, chicken and rice are one of them, I have with shish kebab, I make stuffed grape leaves which are wrapped grape leaves with meat and rice”. She has a grape vine in her yard. She asked me whether I had tried meat & rice wrapped in grape leaves and I told her I never had it before. She makes hummus and tabouli all the time.
Other than sewing, what other hobbies or activities you like to do in during your free time?
Ms. Florence Howayeck: “I used to do a lot of sewing and I did a lot in the house to save money. Even though George was a school teacher, I felt that I could help him that way. I did a lot of that and I enjoyed it because when you put something up which you did it, then, you are happy. Go and look at my curtains and see why all the work I put into it” Then she mentioned that she likes playing games with her friends and going out during weekends. She mentioned that “We have a beach house”, enjoy gatherings there with the whole family.
Do you have any regrets and she replied “probably an education, no doubt about that. That’s important”. She continued with some advice to me, “there is always yes and no and pick the right one”.
She shared another interesting story from her life. Once her husband asked whether she wanted another baby or a new house as the house they were in was very small. Their house was in the same complex where her in-laws used to live. She told her husband that she wanted another baby. As she always wanted four children when she first got married. After they had their youngest son Gary. Ms. Howayeck told her husband that “house was too small and now you need to build a new house”. In the end she got both. They built the current house (fifty years back).
My final question to her was: What message you have for our generation (Gen Z) and what can we learn from your experiences in life?
Ms. Florence Howayeck: “You have make yourself happy first. If you can’t do that you failed. That’s the way I feel. By doing that I was always trying to put the best face for the family and always had a good answer for the kids” She also advised me that “Right is right and wrong is wrong and always remember that, so that you don’t get in trouble. You are more important than all those people who want to convince you to do something that you don’t want to do, if it ever comes up and I hope it doesn’t” She continued “Always hang around with people with whom you are brought up with (means your family). When I was growing up, I was always with the friends who are children of my mother’s friend”. Her most valuable message for me was that my own family should come first.
Overall, I enjoyed my evening with Ms. Howayeck and never felt that I met her that day for the first time. As you all will see in the interview video and we both had a conversation as if we both are friends for a while. After the interview, I had a cake which she baked for us. Before, departing her house I touched her feet (as per Indian culture when you meet and leave elders), she liked it and gave me a tight hug. I felt very connected to her at that moment. Ms. Hagopian even packed some cake for me. While heading back my mother told me that Ms. Howayeck could be of my great grand mothers’s age (Ms. Anita Basu or Ms. Shanti Bhowal) and I thought that her grand and great grandchildren are very fortunate to have her around. I want to visit her more and may get the opportunity to eat chicken and rice cooked by her (she still cooks at age 97!!!).
I hope all the viewers and readers enjoy this interview and gain some positive experiences!!
Recorded video of our interview can be viewed through this Link